When I talk to my mommy friends or my children’s classmates’ moms, it seems like our discussion often focuses on which activities our children should participate in to stand out. Maybe it’s because we live in the bay area and the ultra competitive environment creates this behavior.
I often worry about whether my children are falling behind because they are not going to Chinese or Japanese school, or playing club soccer or doing gymnastics. Honestly speaking, between piano lessons and swimming, and teaching them Japanese myself, they barely finish all their homework as it is. I do get concerned when I hear from other parents, “so and so’s schools are already teaching their 2nd grade students 3rd grade math,” etc. All that changed a few weeks ago, when something happened that made me take a step back and realize what’s truly important in life.
Our family went to Target to shop for birthday gifts and home items. My husband took the two children to the toy section to buy birthday gifts while I explored the kitchen section. After 15 minutes or so, I went to meet them in the toy section. As predicted, they were busy looking at what they want for Christmas, instead of selecting something for their friend’s birthday. I then split from them in the toy section so we could finish shopping quickly.
I don’t remember exactly how much time passed (perhaps just 3 or 4 minutes). I found what I wanted to buy, and my husband and my daughter found me at the same time. My husband then asked me about our son, “Where is he?” I looked around and said “I don’t know, I thought he was with you!” My husband then calmly said, “Okay, he was just looking at Legos a minute ago and is probably in another aisle. Let’s go look for him.”
Standing on the opposite ends of the aisles, we walked down the entire toys and outdoor sections and our son was nowhere to be found. I started panicking a bit and made eye contact with my husband from across the aisles. We didn’t speak a word but both of us were thinking the same thing. All the horrible scenes from movies where children get kidnapped raced through our minds. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life, screaming in my head “What happened to my baby?”
My husband found a Target worker nearby and told him that our son was missing. The worker asked my husband what our son was wearing. Remembering that he took a few camera phone photos earlier in the store, he showed the picture of our son to the worker. Definitely a bit embarrassing, but more on that later.
The worker, after seeing the photo, said into his headset, “Code yellow, code yellow, there’s an Asian boy wearing a blue shirt with red stripe who is missing.” He then asked us to go wait at guest services. Our hearts sank with every passing second. We quickly walked towards guest services holding onto our daughter’s hand, as she kept asking “Where is he? Where did he go?”
Finally, at guest services, I saw my son waiting there. He burst out crying the moment he saw us as well. I ran towards him and hugged him tighter than I’ve ever hugged him. At that moment, nothing else really mattered except for the fact that I had him safely in my arms again. Now that the incident is over, I realize that it doesn’t really matter if my children do 50 activities, or just a few. I just want them to be healthy and happy, just like what I wished for when they were first born.
When we had dinner with our friends over the weekend and told them the story, we cracked up when we realized which picture my husband had shown the employee who was helping us. Good thing it wasn’t my daughter who went missing! We would have had to show them this super helpful photo.
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Hi Nami
Good to hear finally all are well and safe again. But then again, had a laugh looking at the mask photos.
Thanks Mel! Yeah I had to end with that photo before everyone feels heavy… But who knew those pictures turned so helpful to find out what they were wearing! 🙂
I was reading your post and I was scared for you and your son. That is my fear. I remember my son was 3 when we went to Newport Beach on a July 4th. After a day of hanging out, we told our friends we will go ahead to beat the traffic. As we were packing, I saw my son playing at the corner of my eye knowing my husband will be looking after him. But didn’t know he was packing too while I was carrying my 2 mos old baby girl when I realize our son wasn’t anywhere. The beach was so pack that I didn’t care who was looking, I was shouting so loud that people on the other tent tried helping us to find him. I couldn’t feel my heartbeat. My husband saw him and held him tight. He was so mad that he couldn’t drive while I was crying. I hugged him that night like I won the lottery.
Hi Nunki! July 4th! I can totally feel how scared you were that time. Crowded, dark, and your son was so small… A child needs just 1-2 second to go missing. Hugging like you won the lottery… I totally understand that feeling. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 🙂
So glad this had a happy ending! There is nothing like that horrible sinking feeling that hits you when your child is missing. Every worst-case scenario flashes through your mind until you finally find that lost child. My son was particularly a master of slipping out of sight in crowded public places—the Chicago Aquarium, Sea World, and yes, Target. He’s now 24 and still a worry to me, but at this point I’ve learned to let go and let him be an adult. You don’t ever lose that concern when you’re a mother, however. That’ll be with you forever. 🙂
Thank you Eleanor! I always make sure that my kids are around, but never felt in my life that I REALLY have to make sure to do that in crowded public places. So it was a good reminder for us. It’s true. No matter how old your kids become, they are always your children. Now being a parent, I strongly understand that feeling. 🙂
OH MY GOD! I am covered in goosebumps and I am crying. Oh my gosh… THANK GOODNESS he was safe! HUGS to you and your family. xoxo
Thank you Kate! I didn’t imagine I could be in this kind of situation. I read/see news about missing kids, but I never thought my kid would go missing. 🙁 Thanks for your love! 🙂
It is so easy to say’ all’s well that ends well’ AFTER you find it thus . . . but the moments twixt the discovery a child is missing and the reunion have to be the scariest any parent can experience . . . methinks you and your husband will have the proverbial eyes at the back of your head for quite awhile!!!!
Thank you Eha! Yes, it was a great learning lesson for all of us. My son now makes sure my daughter stays close to us (he keeps reminding her). 🙂
How frightening. I’m so glad all turned out well in the end and you have a new appreciation for family and the simple things in life.
Yes, that’s very true! Thank you Maria!
You’ve just taken me back about 35 years to the same helpless panic you felt. My husband and our two daughters, aged 5 and 2, were in a crowded department store. He took them while I did the shopping in another area. When I went back to the prearranged meeting place I said where are the girls and he said I thought you had them. We rushed around and found them, both crying and holding hands, at the bottom of the stairwell. A crowd had gathered and a nice lady was asking them where their parents were. Scariest moment of my life!
Hi Patricia! Your story is very similar to ours. Good thing your 5 year old make sure to stay with the 2 year old, too! I hope every person is nice to care for missing child(ren) but our society is not always that way. We’re very lucky someone was watching the kids. Thank you for sharing the story with us. 🙂
Hi Nami:
I teared up when I read your story. I’m so glad it turned out fine.
My husband and I had that awful experience of losing our children more than once. We were traveling to San Diego and visited Balboa Park. My son (6?) and daughter (4?) left the children’s museum and went to the natural history (?) museum across the way. In the meantime, we were searching the children’s museum with the help of the employees and I was close to tears. My husband had my cell phone. Thank goodness we forced my son to memorize my phone number (with area code) and the person at the desk was able to call us. Unfortunately, as the employee was trying to call us, my husband was refusing to answer the calls from the unknown caller since we were frantically searching the museum! Thank goodness texts were available at the time and we were sent a text that told us where our kids were. It was an awful time.
Soon after that, we had traveled to Kyoto station and my daughter who was still around four or five years old at the time left the store (Uniqlo) while we were still shopping. She thought we left. I panicked! My daughter doesn’t speak Japanese and would not have done well… We found her just down the corridor crying and there were two Japanese girls in their late teens/early twenties trying to help her. That would have been incredibly disastrous… No phone, daughter with no Japanese, and not much understanding about where we were… I can’t imagine…
It is now about 5 years since those awful times. Things have been good since then.
Hi Anne! Oh my gosh, you two must have been so scared! You wouldn’t have imagined that they went to a different building. Good thing your son remembered your cellphone #! And the Kyoto station is so crowded too! I worried about losing my kids while traveling in Japan as they are not quite sure where they are and their Japanese is limited. Let’s hope we cah keep them close when we’re out. 🙂
Ohhh the suspense…I was almost in tears when you wrote about seeing your son again and hugging him so hard! Then I cracked up laughing seeing your daughter with the hulk mask!!! Thanks for taking me on an emotionally rollercoaster ride this morning 😛
Yea so true, dont compare your kids with others who does this and that. Like u said being happy and healthy…that’s all that matters! There’s enough things we have to do as adults so better let kids be kids and enjoy their childhood while it lasts! 😀
Thanks Vivienne! I had to include some laugh in there to end the heavy story. And it was really unexpected those kids pictures will be helpful to think what they were wearing. I didn’t remember what the kids were wearing that day till my husband said “Oh I have pictures of them!”). But I didn’t expect to see the kids with the mask! >_< LOL.
Oh Nami!
Although i dont have a child, i can totally relate because i was THAT child that drove my parents crazy by always getting lost. I was easily distracted and will stop to look at anything. My parents were often distracted because they have 3 rowdy boys and a wandering girl.
I must have gotten lost 4-5 times and my parents fibally implemented a useful strategy that my cousin i law uses for her child in crowded situations now.
They would get a big bright ballon for me when we are going to a crowded event, and tie it to my wrist. This way they can see my balloon from a far distance and easily locate me when i wander off!
I have to telk you, at the time I took my parents’ effort for granted and cared only that I have a balloon (and i loved balloons), but now I realize how amazing and resilient parents are and how much love they have for us!
xx
Vivi, your parents must have been extra cautious around you! Well 3 boys and one wandering girl can be very handful. I rarely handle 2 active kids. The balloon method is a nice and friendly idea! Thank you so much for sharing with us!
So glad you found him!! I was tearing up as I read you blog today. I remember vividly when my mom lost my brother at a shopping center in Osaka. My mom looked for him and couldn’t find him, so she decided to go to the nearest police station, where she found him. He was eating a little snack that the police officer gave me. My mom said he didn’t look upset at all! It must’ve been the snack and the novelty of being with a police officer 🙂 The story was told over and over again as you can imagine.
Hi Aiko! Osaka or most of cities in Japan is so crowded and I’d go panic if I lost my kids in Japan. Haha, maybe police officer help him calm down a bit with a nice treat. 🙂 Yeah I’ll tell my kids over and over again… “remember what happened?” LOL.
So relieved to know that your baby was safe and sound.
Thank you Sandra! 🙂
Thank you for an inspiring story, Nami. I am not married and do not own a child, but I can relate this story to people whom I love =’)
Thank you very much for reading this story, Jessica! 🙂
Oh Nami… I know exactly what you are talking about. It has happened to me a few times and I almost have a panic attack for the few seconds they are not in my sight. I can’t imagine actually not finding them immediately like you… your legs must have been like jelly walking to guest services. Thank goodness he found his way there….
We live in a scary world where we have to always have them almost tethered to us to keep them safe. I remember running around a store while my mother shopped and she never even batted an eyelid. We don’t live in that world anymore.
You truly went through a scare….I am so happy it all had a happy ending. 🙂
Hi Ramona! Yeah the jelly legs! I felt the whole world stop and my body started to move to the exit area just making sure no one was existing with my son! Bad things can happen even in the safest neighborhood. In Japan, a lot of kids still play alone without parents too. It’s sad things are changing. Thank you for your kind words. xo 🙂
Nami – you have me in tears in the middle of Starbucks right now. I’ve been in the same boat. There is nothing, nothing as horrible as that feeling. We lost Mr. N at a park one time and Miss A at a children’s museum (she was so short we couldn’t see her behind a sign). The feeling is awful. I tear up just thinking about it. It’s amazing how many awful thoughts can cross your mind in a matter of seconds. Fortunately our stories ended well; and you are right, they gave us an opportunity to remind ourselves what really matters. I’m so glad your son is safe. Many hugs to you and your beautiful family.
On a side note, we just saw Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and your susheep rock!!! They were my husband’s favorite animated food (and that was before I told him that you created them!). 🙂 Enjoy your family this evening – and every day. We have so much to be thankful for – and I include your blog in what I’m grateful for – so touched by this post.
Hi Kristy! Until I posted this post yesterday, I never imagined I would received comments similar to my experience. It’s such an awful feeling to lose your child – totally parent’s nightmare. So glad you found Mr. N and Miss A.
We went to see the movie on the opening day (which we normally won’t do). So happy you remembered my Susheep. 😀 That was one difficult thing to create… (illustration is so easy!). Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful comment!