When I talk to my mommy friends or my children’s classmates’ moms, it seems like our discussion often focuses on which activities our children should participate in to stand out. Maybe it’s because we live in the bay area and the ultra competitive environment creates this behavior.
I often worry about whether my children are falling behind because they are not going to Chinese or Japanese school, or playing club soccer or doing gymnastics. Honestly speaking, between piano lessons and swimming, and teaching them Japanese myself, they barely finish all their homework as it is. I do get concerned when I hear from other parents, “so and so’s schools are already teaching their 2nd grade students 3rd grade math,” etc. All that changed a few weeks ago, when something happened that made me take a step back and realize what’s truly important in life.
Our family went to Target to shop for birthday gifts and home items. My husband took the two children to the toy section to buy birthday gifts while I explored the kitchen section. After 15 minutes or so, I went to meet them in the toy section. As predicted, they were busy looking at what they want for Christmas, instead of selecting something for their friend’s birthday. I then split from them in the toy section so we could finish shopping quickly.
I don’t remember exactly how much time passed (perhaps just 3 or 4 minutes). I found what I wanted to buy, and my husband and my daughter found me at the same time. My husband then asked me about our son, “Where is he?” I looked around and said “I don’t know, I thought he was with you!” My husband then calmly said, “Okay, he was just looking at Legos a minute ago and is probably in another aisle. Let’s go look for him.”
Standing on the opposite ends of the aisles, we walked down the entire toys and outdoor sections and our son was nowhere to be found. I started panicking a bit and made eye contact with my husband from across the aisles. We didn’t speak a word but both of us were thinking the same thing. All the horrible scenes from movies where children get kidnapped raced through our minds. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life, screaming in my head “What happened to my baby?”
My husband found a Target worker nearby and told him that our son was missing. The worker asked my husband what our son was wearing. Remembering that he took a few camera phone photos earlier in the store, he showed the picture of our son to the worker. Definitely a bit embarrassing, but more on that later.
The worker, after seeing the photo, said into his headset, “Code yellow, code yellow, there’s an Asian boy wearing a blue shirt with red stripe who is missing.” He then asked us to go wait at guest services. Our hearts sank with every passing second. We quickly walked towards guest services holding onto our daughter’s hand, as she kept asking “Where is he? Where did he go?”
Finally, at guest services, I saw my son waiting there. He burst out crying the moment he saw us as well. I ran towards him and hugged him tighter than I’ve ever hugged him. At that moment, nothing else really mattered except for the fact that I had him safely in my arms again. Now that the incident is over, I realize that it doesn’t really matter if my children do 50 activities, or just a few. I just want them to be healthy and happy, just like what I wished for when they were first born.
When we had dinner with our friends over the weekend and told them the story, we cracked up when we realized which picture my husband had shown the employee who was helping us. Good thing it wasn’t my daughter who went missing! We would have had to show them this super helpful photo.
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Hi Nami-san, Ya, totemo ureshi desu… (I’m very happy) that you found your son!!! It must have felt paralyzing the moment that it happened. I imagine that no one can adequately describe what all of you had to undergo until you finally found him. I’m of you today and sharing your joy…
PS- Arigato for your reply to my comments about frying.
Hi Tak! Thank you, finding my son was the biggest relief. You’re welcome – please feel free to ask me anytime. 🙂
That was always my biggest fear when caring for or going out with my nieces when they were little. That and choking on food (I actually had to do the heimmlich on one of them, even after always cutting up her food in super tiny pieces!) . What an awful experience to go through and it can happen to anyone. I have a friend who bought her younger child one of those “leashes” for when they travel. She was worried about people criticising her for the leash (you know the comparison to a dog), but I kept telling her to forget people and realise that it could be a life saver, especially in her situation travelling alone with two children.
Obviously glad you found your son! 😉 <3
Hi Debra! I actually had those friendly stuff animal (it was monkey I think?) backup leash. We used it when I brought my kids to Japan alone. I was so worried about losing them in the airport so I had to buy one – and used on several occasion at amusement park etc. It was helpful when my son was still very small (and thank god those things were popular so I don’t look like I treat my son like a pet). Thank you so much for your kind comment! 🙂
Thanks for sharing this. I have lost my kids before and my heart sank to the bottom of the sea. I am so glad your son is fine. And yes, there are some things in life that are really unimportant compared to the fact our kids are safe.
Hi Mich! I have to treasure my time with the kids and small moments we have as they grow up fast too! Thanks for your kind comment!
Wow! So glad your nightmare turned into a rejoicemare!! God is good all the time!! Kids are special and while we never want to be reminded in such a way at least it planted your feet right back at their sides and thoughts again!! Hugs!
Thank you very much for your kind comment Vicki! 🙂
I truly agree with you. Our children are the most precious and nothing else matters.
Hope that this won’t happen to you again. Cheers!
Thank you so much Sue! Yes, I truly hope this is the last time! Thank you for your comment!
I know you went through – I had the same experience- panicked and frightened. I’m glad they were safe. Cute pics!
Rain is back in Portland and getting cold. How about you? Take care.
Thank you Akemi-san! SF has been good weather so far. Around 60Fs. It’s getting cold night and morning. The heater turns on in the morning these days. Wish to visit you in Portland one day! I love the city!
I am so happy your son was found safe my friend, you had me biting my nails!
What a post!
Hugs
Uru
Thanks Uru! It was terrifying moment in my life. I heard those stories before, but I never felt it myself. Now I have!
So happy to hear your son was safe and I think it’s a good idea to carry updated photos of your kids with you at all times. And yes, I’m glad your daughter wasn’t the one who was lost! Cutest little Hulk! Give your kids extra hugs tonight. 🙂
Thank you Donna! Yeah I carry their photos too, but when they ask what they were wearing that day… I became blank. I see them everyday and it wasn’t like a costume or anything memorable that I couldn’t figure out immediately. Then my husband said “Oh I have pictures of them I just took…” which was THOSE pictures with a mask on. Gosh. xD What those three were doing while I was shopping!?! 😉
Nami… It has happened to me last few days too
Accidentally left my 2 year old girl on the mrt train..
We saw the signboard showing 1 minute, and we didn’t see any door closing signal or hear any door closing sound. That’s why my hubby stood behind us. The door just closed suddenly after I push the stroller into the train and few guys tried to open the door but failed.
Trea didn’t know she was alone on the train until the young man, whom we learnt later whose name is De Lun, push her out of the station.
Initial Control Station officer told us they couldn’t find my girl or the stroller because no one reported finding baby and they thought the man was her father….Meanwhile my hubby got into the next train and I was staying at the same station waiting for updates from the MRT officer.
De Lun told us that my girl only cried out loud for 20sec…
My girl first question to us was: why mommy & daddy leave me alone?
Make me feel so guilty and shocked with her question…
She told me what happened when we were not around..
My girl: I cry and cry
De Lun: don’t cry, pa pa & ma ma is on the way
My girl: gor gor wipe my tears with his hand
De Lun: can we make friend?
My girl: he bring out the hp and we play color games
So easy to kidnap this girl…Thank God we met a very nice and good guy!
Hi Ms. Andrea! We always joked that it’s easy to kidnap my son as he’s so friendly to anyone and there was no stranger anxiety even when he was small. You must have been so scared and worried when you separated from your girl. 🙁 Thank you for sharing your story and I’m so glad nothing bad happened to both of our kids.
Hi Nami,
Very strange that i feel so calm when this accident happen, may be because it was happen in Singapore. Small and safe country?! hehe
Yeah, I feel so glad too that nothing happen to our kids. 🙂
This happened to me, almost exactly. My little guy, at Target, too! The employees are great there, and they had found him and brought him up front to wait for me. The other scary time was at a busy swap meet when my firstborn was two. Heart attack!
Thanks for the story, and for the always-welcome encouragement to hug our loved ones tight and not get caught up in the rat race of daily life. It really isn’t important at all whether our kids are doing a lot or a few activities. They grow up in the blink of an eye, and we soon realize “the things that matter aren’t things at all.”
Hi Amy! Yeah we’re surprised how employees are well-trained on this kind of occasions. They were really quick and immediately moved around. I agree, I already feel time is passing by way too quickly, and I need to focus more on big important things in life while we live together. 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind comment!
What a scare you had! That’s such an awful feeling when something like that happens. So glad this didn’t take too long to resolve – every minute that you’re experiencing something like this feels like at least an hour.
Thank you John! That was the worst few minutes of my life! Thanks for your kind comment!
Nami, you have me in tears right now! My husband and I are planning to start a family soon and even now at this stage, we worry about where we’re going to settle down and therefore what school our children will go to. Your story puts things in perspective and I will try to remember it when I start worrying about Gymboree classes :). Thank you for sharing your story and the awesome pictures.
Hi Janice! Sorry if my story make you scared, but until this happens, I was a mom who never thought my kids would disappear and I would worry about even possible kidnapping. 🙁 It happened unexpectedly. I learned a big lesson this time. I wasn’t into much about kids education and activities until my son went to the elementary school…but now I can have different perspectives – more about what’s important in life. 🙂
Oh Nami your story made me cry. It’s one of the things i fear most … It’s only when everyone is home safe in the evening that i can truly relax. Until then that fear lingers …
it’s a crazy world out their but as you said, we need to focus on the positive and be grateful for what we have. Thank you for sharing … i am grateful we have become ‘fb’ friends!
Nobuko-san, yes agree! There are more important things in life that we often forget or take it for granted. The incident like this make us remember those things. I’m grateful we met and got to know each other. 🙂
Nami, I’m so, SO thankful you and your son were reunited. What a scary ordeal! I totally agree with your conclusions, too… kids need more hugs than activities.
Thank you, Kim! We need to focus on more important things in life and they will learn from it too. Thank you for your comment! 🙂
I have had that exact same experience and I know how frightening it is. My Archie was just two at the time and had just bolted while I was looking at a rack of clothing. I turned around and he was gone. Just awful! You are so right in that it certainly teaches you not to sweat the small stuff xx
Thank you Charlie! Kids just need a few seconds to disappear. It was a big learning lesson for us. 🙂