When I talk to my mommy friends or my children’s classmates’ moms, it seems like our discussion often focuses on which activities our children should participate in to stand out. Maybe it’s because we live in the bay area and the ultra competitive environment creates this behavior.
I often worry about whether my children are falling behind because they are not going to Chinese or Japanese school, or playing club soccer or doing gymnastics. Honestly speaking, between piano lessons and swimming, and teaching them Japanese myself, they barely finish all their homework as it is. I do get concerned when I hear from other parents, “so and so’s schools are already teaching their 2nd grade students 3rd grade math,” etc. All that changed a few weeks ago, when something happened that made me take a step back and realize what’s truly important in life.
Our family went to Target to shop for birthday gifts and home items. My husband took the two children to the toy section to buy birthday gifts while I explored the kitchen section. After 15 minutes or so, I went to meet them in the toy section. As predicted, they were busy looking at what they want for Christmas, instead of selecting something for their friend’s birthday. I then split from them in the toy section so we could finish shopping quickly.
I don’t remember exactly how much time passed (perhaps just 3 or 4 minutes). I found what I wanted to buy, and my husband and my daughter found me at the same time. My husband then asked me about our son, “Where is he?” I looked around and said “I don’t know, I thought he was with you!” My husband then calmly said, “Okay, he was just looking at Legos a minute ago and is probably in another aisle. Let’s go look for him.”
Standing on the opposite ends of the aisles, we walked down the entire toys and outdoor sections and our son was nowhere to be found. I started panicking a bit and made eye contact with my husband from across the aisles. We didn’t speak a word but both of us were thinking the same thing. All the horrible scenes from movies where children get kidnapped raced through our minds. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life, screaming in my head “What happened to my baby?”
My husband found a Target worker nearby and told him that our son was missing. The worker asked my husband what our son was wearing. Remembering that he took a few camera phone photos earlier in the store, he showed the picture of our son to the worker. Definitely a bit embarrassing, but more on that later.
The worker, after seeing the photo, said into his headset, “Code yellow, code yellow, there’s an Asian boy wearing a blue shirt with red stripe who is missing.” He then asked us to go wait at guest services. Our hearts sank with every passing second. We quickly walked towards guest services holding onto our daughter’s hand, as she kept asking “Where is he? Where did he go?”
Finally, at guest services, I saw my son waiting there. He burst out crying the moment he saw us as well. I ran towards him and hugged him tighter than I’ve ever hugged him. At that moment, nothing else really mattered except for the fact that I had him safely in my arms again. Now that the incident is over, I realize that it doesn’t really matter if my children do 50 activities, or just a few. I just want them to be healthy and happy, just like what I wished for when they were first born.
When we had dinner with our friends over the weekend and told them the story, we cracked up when we realized which picture my husband had shown the employee who was helping us. Good thing it wasn’t my daughter who went missing! We would have had to show them this super helpful photo.
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Thankgod !! So relieved to know that your kid is safe and sound.
Thank you so much! 🙂
Glad he was safe. That must have been horribly frightening.
Thank you so much, Andrea! Yes, one big learning experience for all of us!
Yah, don’t get caught up in all that parental competition over grades, activities, health, etc. do NOT be a tiger mother! We have two kids, both grown to 23 and 39, one a college and MFA from Stanford and soon to be college professor at Cal, and the other a college dropout, living in LA, and doing what he has to do to get ahead in his chosen field of retail fashion and management.
They did well in SPITE of their parents. We do our best, but often, we do what we think others expect us to do for our kids. Expose them to new ideas and activities. See what takes. Don’t get weird if the son takes up belly dancing. Smile if the daughter prefers hammers to Barbie dolls. It’s all good.
Hi Chris! Thank you so much for writing! I wasn’t even a tiger mom type at all, but I realized I got caught up in the mommy conversation and felt if I’m doing “enough”. You’re very right. We support our kids and cherish the time we have as a family (after all they leave the house so quickly). We guide them but there is so much we can do as parents. Thank you so much for your kind advice. My daughter already prefers playing with boy toys than dolls. 😀 Well, you already saw her in Hulk mask. Hehee.
Hmpf, i’m happy that u’ve found your angels…..
keep your eyes ClOSELY on kiddos, trust me’ i’ve almost got an hearth attact when i lost my site to my little niece in mall two month ago, my fault is just a FLASH loooking on a bunch of beautifull hotties who sold a cigarrete.
Flown few more years, i’ve been kidnapped when i was 2 years old too, my baby sister hadn’t ever had a baby want to adopt me and luckily i was found 2 days after that…
Hi Dedy! Wait, you’ve been kidnapped? Omg, I’m so glad you were found after 2 days. That’s the scariest thing I heard. I cannot believe you went through that when you were two years old. So sorry to hear you had the horrible experience. 🙁
well, actually i hadn’t any clues about it since i was only 2 years old….
my parents should learn a lesson and got a truma about it, when i told my mom about my niece, she almost eat me in a whole piece
but now, she sometimes kidding me that she not sure enought weather i was their actually son…hahaha
Hi Nami,
At some point we have all felt like we have lost our kid. It is one of the worst feelings ever. Our children are our world. Pretty scary. You are right, it really puts things in perspective.
I am glad it all ended well.
Going to hug my little one extra tight this evening.
Thank you Asmita! We live everyday, and our life is so busy that we forget most important things in life. Incidents like this make me realize those things again. Have a great weekend, and thank you for reading! 🙂
Glad you found your son. anyone can get panicked in a situation like this.
Thank you Balvinder! Yes, it was a major panic moment in my life. Thank you for reading the story! 🙂
Hi Nami,
Thanks for sharing this inspiring story. Even though I don’t have children, I know how you and your family must’ve felt at that moment! I’m glad you found your son in the end (after a scare). Your son’s a smart boy…at least he knew to wait for you at guest services.
Thank you Candice! Yeah I was actually surprised about him too to be able to think in such panic moment. 🙂
I don’t know what to say, that is my nightmare, after seen several movies with missing children, I think all mothers feel the same. Thanks God you find him safety, and yes, the most important thing is they are happy and healthy. I don’t know what is happening in the world, because it’s the same thing here, study, study, what we learned when we were at 6th grade, are now in 3rd grade. Are kids skipping phases now?
Hi Nydia! I know, this kind of incident only happened in movie and TV news and never thought it could happen to us! It was totally unexpected that my kid can go missing! We learned very important lesson that day about most important things in life that matter to us most. 🙂
Oh Nami what a terrible moment that must have been! I’m glad that it ended well because of course nothing could prepare someone for when it doesn’t. I love happy endings like this 😀
Thank you Lorraine! After heavy reading, we all need something to laugh to get the optimism and love! Thank you for reading this story!
I use a harness. People laugh, but I know where my child is all the time.
Thank you John! We did have harness and used it at the airport and amusement park when they were much smaller. These days the harnesses are very friendly with stuff animal shape etc, and I think it’s great to keep kids around in very crowded public spaces, especially if you know your kids may run off in less than a few second. Thanks for your comment! 🙂
That must have been the most frightening feeling ever. Thank god he’s found, safe and sound. xoxo
Thank you Kiran! We will never forget this incident… 🙂
Oh Nami, I`m so sorry this incident had to occur! 🙁 Thankfully he is safe and sound. Lucky you took pictures before hand. I actually read a post a few days ago, where a mother suggested doing that wherever you go.
Let`s continue to spread optimism and love! 🙂
Hi Lynna! If my kids weren’t wearing the mask, we were not sure what kind of clothes they were wearing! So that crazy picture with the mask became helpful… Yes, I am in for spreading optimism and love. Something we can do to help others in many ways. 🙂
Oh Nami, I feel your agonising, painful, feeling helpless moment. Time flies ever so slowly during that wait.
Happened to me too, “lost” my daughter in IKEA in Malaysia, when she was just 4 at that time. She was a playful child (and still is at 16).
It was a harrowing wait, my husband ran to check out (just like you, worried with all child-kidnapping cases on the rise in Malaysia), while I back track and found her crying, few aisles away.
Hi Lisa! IKEA is huge! And yeah considering kidnapping cases can happen anywhere, we can’t help thinking about the possibility. I will never forgive myself if something bad happen. It was a huge learning lesson for me. Thanks for your comment!
What a moving narrative… I’m neither married nor have children, but I can relate a lot when it comes to missing animals and loved ones. I’m so glad your son is safe and sound 😉
Thank you Rika! We were so relieved when we found him and nothing happened. And we learned a lot from this experience. 🙂
Hi lovely woman! Lucy can’t wander away yet…but I know there will come a day/moment where I will go through a similar experience as the one above! I was almost crying reading your words and thinking about it. I’m thankful that we both have our little ones close to us tonight. Thank you for sharing, sweet friend.
Thank you Monet! This kind of story was always someone’s or from the news on TV, etc. It was a good wake up call for us to be more alert of what we do. Thanks so much for your sweet comment. 🙂